i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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