Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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