Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
