I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
my god I love twenty year old dicks
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
