he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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