oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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