What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Randomize
