last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You dont lie about slip and slides
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
