Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Randomize
