is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
