During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
