Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
