just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
