In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
