that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
