Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
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