your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
