imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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