we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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