She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
