So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
