how hairy? two words: wookie tits
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
