Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
