Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
