I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize