Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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