I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
