Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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