you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Randomize
