Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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