do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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