the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
