we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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