The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Dear god my vagina.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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