Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Yo dont text me then not text me
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
