Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
