I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Oh god it's open bar.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
