I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize