Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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