i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
