i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
