he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
it was like eating out sand paper
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
