This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
