ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
