you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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