Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize