Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yo dont text me then not text me
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
