I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Randomize
