i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
