i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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