naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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