If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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