Do you still have your period?
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize