she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
