Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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