He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
