Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize