so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
