Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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