Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
