Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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