bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
