What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
