Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
