Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
farters have to be the big spoon...
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
