i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
