dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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