tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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