Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize