I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
