Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
