oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Someone shit on the floor
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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