I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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