friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
