My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
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