i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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