she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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