is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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