Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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