I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize